2 Kings
I have not yet received the gift of confidence in the abundance which I need. I am of two minds about confidence anyway. I recoil when someone acts more confidently than I think they deserve to. I am working on drying up the rain that puddles in my subconscious. I am working on sleeping through conflict. I am working on embracing repetition. I am working on running away from the person who says I need work.
Each time I begin to embrace the pebble I brought home from the beach, I remember that it was washed up onto the shore at the feet of my ambition. I don't remember riding a tricycle, but could I ever build a moat around a sandcastle. I made a separate bucket filled with a mixture of sand and water and that was my favorite substance to dribble onto the top of the parapets of my castle. As the surf came in, I dug the moat deeper. My mother called me to get away from the incoming waves. I retreated and watched them destroy my creation. I gave myself the time to go back the next day and start over, in spite of my doubt, in spite of the salt water that erased all trace of me.
